1、人，生在床上，死在床上，欲生欲死，也在床上。

2、鹅鹅鹅，曲项用刀割，拔毛加瓢水，点火盖上锅。

3、不经历人渣，怎么能出嫁，没有人能随随便便当妈。

4、若是晴天你便安好，这天气，看来你已经不在了吧！

5、人生就像开飞机，飞得多高不重要，平稳落地最重要。

6、手拿大哥大，到处说胡话，腰跨BP机，到处吹牛皮！

7、考前当学霸，幸福一寒假。上网一时爽，期末火葬场。

8、长的丑不是你的错，但你出来吓人，就是你的不对了！

9、青青河边草，爱你爱到老；野火烧不尽，明天会更好。

10、别管什么高考了，只要长的丑，人生已熟百分之九十九。

11、我悄悄的来，又悄悄的走，挥一挥匕首，不留一个活口。

12、我是你转身就忘的路人甲，凭什么陪你蹉跎年华到天涯？

13、我有三句话想跟你说，包括下面这一句，谢谢我讲完了。

14、远看是你，近看是桶，仔细一看原来是你抱了个垃圾桶。

15、龟兔赛跑，猪做裁判，你说是龟跑得快还是兔子跑得快？

16、生活就像是心电图，想要一帆风顺没有起伏，除非你死了。

17、你老婆快生了吧！到时生得多的话给我一个，我特喜欢小狗。

18、你长的丑一点没关系，如果你出去吓人，那可是你的问题了！

19、不管情话连篇，或是老婆一般，只要搭成连理，就应爱她万年！

20、人生之所以短暂，是因为活的时候忘了，死的时候才恍然大悟。

21、听说你被**，真的把我吓坏。好替那人担心，卖得掉你才怪！

22、孩子不吃饭、挑食，不但是消化问题，很可能啊，是缺心眼儿。

23、寂寞就是有人说话时，没人在听；有人在听时，你却没话说了。

24、思念不能自己，痛苦不能自理，结果不能自取，幸福不能自予。

25、我们心有灵犀，我们心心相印，我是新新人类，正逗猩猩高兴！

26、拥抱真是个奇怪的东西，明明靠的那么近，却看不见彼此的脸。

27、热恋时相许下辈子再结良缘，结婚后常怀疑是上辈子造了孽缘。

28、现实像个石头，精神像个蛋，石头当然坚硬，可蛋才是生命嘛。

29、记得默默的一瞬间，你把我的心带走，从此我的人却和别人走。

30、A man is born in bed and died in bed.

31、No one can get married without any scum. No one can be carefree.

32、Life is like flying an airplane. How important it is to fly high.

33、Ugliness is not your fault, but you are frightening, but you are wrong.

34、If it is sunny, you will be well. It seems that you are no longer there.

35、A hug is a strange thing. It's so close, but it can't see each other's face.

36、I quietly came and quietly walked, waved a dagger, leaving no room for a living.

37、Your wife is going to be born soon! Give me one when you get a lot. I like dogs.

38、Green grass, love you to love old, wildfire can not burn, tomorrow will be better.

39、No matter what a love story is, or a wife, you should love her for thousands of years.

40、Children do not eat and picky food, it is not only digestive problems, it is very likely.

41、Reality is like a stone. Spirit is like an egg. Stone is of course hard, but egg is life.

42、Goose, goose, goose, cut with knives, pull wool and add water, and cover the pot with fire.

43、It doesn't matter if you are ugly. If you go out to frighten people, that's your problem.

44、Far from you, close to see is a bucket, a closer look, it turned out that you held a trash can.

45、I have three sentences to say to you, including the following sentence, thank you for finishing.

46、I am the passerby who you turn around and forget. Why accompany you to spend your time in the world?

47、Our hearts are in tune. Our hearts are together. I am a new human being. I am playing with gorillas.

48、Life is short because it is forgotten when it is alive, and when it dies, it suddenly comes to light.

49、No matter what college entrance examination is, as long as ugly, life has been ripe ninety-nine percent.

50、I remember that in a moment of silence, you took my heart away, and then my people went away with others.

51、Talk about bullshit everywhere in your hand, go across the BP machine and blow the bull's skin everywhere!

52、I was horrified to hear that you were abducted and sold. Well, worry about that man. It's strange to sell you!

53、Life is like an electrocardiogram. If you want to sail smoothly, there will be no ups and downs unless you die.

54、the tortoise and the hare, the pig is the referee. Do you think the tortoise runs fast or the rabbit runs fast?

55、Loneliness is when no one is listening when someone speaks, but when someone is listening, you have nothing to say.

56、Before exams, learn tyrants and be happy for a winter vacation. Surfing the Internet for a while, the end of the crematorium.

57、Miss can not be self, pain can not take care of themselves, the results can not be taken by themselves, happiness can not be given.

58、When you are in love, you will make good fortune in your next life. After marriage, you often suspect that you had created a bad fortune in your previous life.